IT’S GON’ RAIN
I can feel it in every joint below my waist.
Just because you’re out of sight, doesn’t mean the rest of the library can’t hear your phone conversation. GTFO.
So I’m not going to Alaska. I don’t know if I posted about this, but I got the job I interviewed for. They called me twenty four hours later. Clearly, they liked me. And that was awesome and amazing and made me feel like maybe I am at a point in my life where I possess professional value/worth.
But I knew once I got that call that whatever choice I made, I would regret. If I went, I’d be stressed to the nines - and dealing with potentially not graduating since my school is SO on-the-ball about getting back to me about these things (shouldn’t they be excited when students find these kinds of opportunities themselves and help facilitate that?). I would be stressed about moving for a few months, subletting, my cat, moot court, and all that. Even though it’s a great opportunity I wanted to jump at. Good experience, new place, and only temporary.
My heart said yes, my head said no. For some of the reasons I outlined earlier (okay, maybe did post about getting the job?). It would make job hunting hard. It would make arranging graduation difficult. I would be leaving my friends for the last few months I’ll ever get with them. If there’s something seriously wrong with my test results I need to get treated here, not in Alaska.
So I objectively know that while I am bummed out, this was a good choice. It was the safe choice. Which makes me wonder how - at twenty four - I have lost my sense of adventure, my lust for trying new things, spontaneity, and flying by the seat of my pants. I feel like I still possess these traits, but that they’re tempered by other factors in my life. I don’t know when that happened and I don’t know how, but I think I’m less sad about not going to Alaska and more sad feeling like something fundamental to my character has been changed and cowed by the passage of life and time.
Someone in this subway stop has french fries or chicken nuggets and it smells delicious.
The curse of not having eaten fast food in ten years is even if it smells delish it would make me violently ill.
I changed my mind. I want whiskey, a nap, a meal, and a back rub.
shedsomelightonme13 replied to your photo “Are you, like, a terrorist?” Internal Monologue: Wow that is so…”
So many whale noises
Yeah it was bad.